Being alone

We born by ourself, well... Our mothers make all the effort to get a safe and healthy child. But, truly, we are alone in this life since the day we see the light of the sun. 

Our parents prepare us to be a successful men or a dedicated woman. To be a professional and a good-live person, in a economical way. 

We think that everything is going to be all right, that we have our people with us, we ARE NOT alone! Not this time, not when I'm young yet. "I'll never be afraid because I'm with the people I love the most.." I used to say. But I think we have a moment when we thought about getting an independent life, have an apartment for us, make all the things we want to and nobody to be against that. Yeah, what a life! What a beautiful dream!

I have a goal. My goal. I've always wanted to be a doctor, but this was somehow for me impossible in the place I was living. I said: "My dream is big. It is not being in a college for who knows how many year studying for be doctor, and then have an useless work, just because in this freakin' country there's not opportunities". 

I haven't make my goal yet, but I moved. I'm moving forward for it. But it's not easy at all. I'm not living alone, I have my grandmother, after all, I have her and I'm kinda thankful for that. Being a home-stayed girl and being daddy's girl and mommy's girl is now gone, they are four hours in plane away from me. This sucks, because I really miss them.

They miss me too. A lot, I know. My mom cries and my dad, too. My little sister telling me she loves me always that I'm going to hang down the phone, my heart beats with a little pain when I remember them. "Just six months"... I repeated to myself every time I wanted to cry. Is it not so long? I'm scared, I feel alone, I'm upset. It was MY decision, YES there was a lot of people that told me to stay, also they're going to miss me. Now I'm empty, where the hell are those people?? Those words?? Those...I don't know, feelings?

This dream, this goal... Is worth it?

Fallar.

Cuando nos esforzamos mucho en hacer que algo nos salga perfecto. Pasamos días  practicando, pensando y mejorando, para que estemos preparados para cuando llegue el momento.

Llega el momento y pierdes todo. Los nervios te carcomen, y piensas en que es inútil continuar. 

Miras a todo el mundo que avanza, y supera el desafío que en tanto te empeñaste. Sólo queda otra persona y tú. Gritas por ayuda. Ella te mira, te susurra, pero no escuchas. Te late el corazón  tanto que piensas que morirías allí  mismo. Ella te da una mirada apenada y, al igual que las demás personas, avanza.

Tuve la oportunidad de avanzar, pude hacerlo perfecto, pero no estaba completamente preparada. Me dejé llevar por la emoción y la ilusión. 

Con lágrimas en los ojos, me rendí. Entregué el desafío incompleto y con fallas. Y me sentí derrotada.

Evadí mi ambiente, quería escapar. Temblaba y lloraba. No quería aceptar. Pero al abrir un poco mis ojos, al ver que aquella mano se extendía hacia mí,  buscando, no compadecerme, sino a seguir adelante.

Los abrí completamente. Nadie es perfecto. Fui una pérdida por querer rendirme, no porque haya fallado. Fallar no es abandonar, es aprender a hacerlo mejor.

Romance - Quinientas maneras más - Wattpad

Romance - Quinientas maneras más - Wattpad